YOUR LIFE IS YOURS

 

I’m always saying it, that life is a gift we should embrace and a hardship we must endure.

Life they say is for living and it sure is, when life and people allow it.

Those of us lucky enough to be born into a free and democratic society might get a chance to live it, but living it to the full, finding happiness, contentment and meaningful values and principles to live it by can be a daunting affair. Life has a way of taking you on highs and lows and when you have something you like; it takes it from you.

But wow, when life is at its best then bring it on, because if we play our cards right, with luck and fate  on our side, life is worth every second of living. How would we know the good times if we didn’t experience the bad as well?

We also have to live with ourselves. We are often our worst enemy as we fight with our instincts and feelings and what irks and annoys us. Heck, we are such a mish mash of emotions and a complex of behaviours, it’s easy to fall out of love with ourselves even before we know how to love others.

This article is about you and your life.

The one that was yours when you popped out your mother’s womb. Maybe for the first few years it wasn’t so much yours, but your parents as they nurtured and controlled what you could do and what you couldn’t.

Not all kids enjoy the sanctuary of a family life. By family, I mean any scenario where children are loved, cared for and are safe. The term ‘family values’ I will not use, because within the world of politics, religion and public prejudices, it often means such so called values prop up false and often wrong moral judgement on the rights and wrongs of parenting.

Beyond your parenting, education and social up bringing, your life is yours and you are the centre of your life. The life of others should never revolve around you, unless there is a mutual and meaningful balance that compliments everyone.

Once you had a conscious mind and could think and assess, you’d be learning about life, people and all their funny traits and ways in the behaviour they display towards you.

Nature, as within the magic of creation in the womb and the shear complexity of creating life after conception, will have determined many aspects of what make you a unique individual.

Man now understands some of that complexity, but even science still searches for many answers. Sadly, humans are prone to expecting everyone to be like them and frankly, nature never intended it to be that way.

Look around this awesome planet and you’ll see many species of different. Every human face is different and each human fingerprint and DNA is unique.

From your birth parents and generic ancestors come your genetics, DNA and character. Those who wish to argue against that should observe a small child’s character develop while they are still very young. Often that needs guiding within boundaries of acceptable behaviour, but children need nurturing and educating more than controlling.

Others will always have their own expectations of you. They’ll want you to fit in with their perception of what you should be like. Like many species, humans have a herd instinct. To live side by side and enjoy social interactions. Most of us want to feel as though we fit in, and we should to a degree without pretending we are something we are not.

We are each unique, so in the way we dress, interact with others and comprehend the reality of the world we all live in, we retain that valuable unique element of who we are. Common values all humans should share (but sadly don’t) should be qualities of compassion, empathy, kindness, understanding, acceptance, tolerance and an ability to embrace the differences of others.

As we might strive to do that, we won’t take to everyone and neither will some take to us. That’s life and how we handle will depend on how wise we are to human behaviour and how important it might be in our immediate world. It’s much easier to be friendly than not and much stronger in character to turn the other cheek to intimidation or aggression.

Regardless of historic and religious teachings, science, logic and pure reason indicates sexuality is innate, predetermined before birth. Gender is also a factor often wrongly associated with sexuality. It isn’t, because the processes are quite separate and while they should follow the same natural pattern, remember that nature has ways and means of making life diverse, colourful and exciting.

That means regardless of blind illogical judgement, to be born different to the expectations of parents, society or others is perfectly natural and normal.

Right or left handed, that too isn’t something we can choose.

How we look and our features and measurements are also from the blueprint of genetics. All we can do is make the best of what nature gave us and follow the number one rule, look after our body and our health, for without our health, our quality of life may not be as we would wish.

When we are a teenager, life can be a barrel of laughs or pure shit, because Puberty brings many changes to our body, hormonal ones, sexual ones and physical ones, sometimes all conflicting with one another and our perception of what we thought we understood. You have to ride it because it’s only temporary. If some elements are not, your instincts should tell you. Then, unless it’s a phase, you should listen to your instincts and follow them sensibly and safely, seeking the support you need to do so.

When we pass teenage years, that’s when life becomes exciting, for the world is our oyster, or it’s a hard slog to keep our chin above water, pay the rent or the mortgage or support our family. As we do that, it’s important to remember four things:

  • You work to live, not live to work, so you need a balance of work, leisure and a social life.
  • Live by your principles and values, by what feels right for you. Others will have expectations of you, but you would be wise to limit them to your personal commitments and responsibilities and offering a helping hand when someone needs it. Otherwise, people can dictate your life for you and it won’t be your own to live.
  • No matter what your religious beliefs are, they should be a guiding factor in your life, not a controlling one. Never allow any aspect of religion to control, judge or condemn those who have different instincts to you unless of course they harm or abuse others.
  • Everyone is different. Human behaviour is a complexity we might never fully understand, so it’s always best to agree to disagree rather than fight or become violent over the daftest reasons. Rational thought, logic, reason and common sense should come into effect before you ever make an informed decision, whether it be about a person, a situation or an emotive subject that gets you excited in some way.

With life comes many heartaches, regrets, sadness and loss. But also life can bring fulfilment in so many ways, for every dark cloud has a silver lining and bad things balance the good things in life.

When life kicks you when you’re down, kick it back. That means don’t let the bugger get to you, keep your integrity and your credibility and others will judge you favourably for it.

Step back from your troubles, take stock and see it from a different perspective. Sitting on the rim of a problem can be enlightening, that’s why others can see a problem differently to you, even though the emotional aspects will be very personal to you.

We are all inclined to take things for granted, including loved ones and what we are lucky to have. Please, never do that, because we don’t know what is important to us until it gets taken from us. Embrace it while you have it and treasure it, especially if it’s a person or creature where the bond you have is special.

You only, no one else, can live your life, so only you are to blame for the course it might take unless fate and luck bring misfortune. So be wise and think long term regarding your health first, then security and safety, and then your work or career in equal measure to enjoying life. Within all that, look after your emotions.

I’m writing much more about aspects of life, so until then, value yourself and your potential. Individually we don’t know what we are capable of achieving until we achieve it and if you want what you never had, you gotta do what you never did!

In the nicest possible way, of course.

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