Déjà vu?

So, is this it? Just this life, nothing before it and zilch when it ends.

Grasping that illogical logic is beyond me.

My imagination allows me to believe that we have all been here before, or if not here, some other dimension where we consciously live. Whether it is in human form I’m open minded about, because the creatures we share this planet with are sometimes very human, gifted with skills we can only dream about.

I’m convinced that we are each here for a purpose. What purpose escapes me, but seeing as we are all continuously learning about life, ourselves and the shit life and other humans throw at us, it all has to be for something more than just this life on earth. If it isn’t, then it’s an abundant energy and knowledge lost for eternity.

Being the dis-believing sod that I am, I refuse to accept the notion.

Maybe we each have a long and arduous journey to make through many dimensions of time. Each of us coming and going to and from conscious awareness within a living body that dies, and then we get reborn in another, carrying only the soul and a sub-conscious thread of what we have learnt from one life to another.

There’s no evidence from my own life to support such a theory. I have no re-call of being here or anywhere else before, but I do sometimes wonder if a tiger had me for dinner.

When I was very young I had prolonged nightmares of a tiger under the bed at night. So vivid, I would wake up screaming and couldn’t settle until my mum had checked under the bed and in the wardrobe. Even to this day, a tiger’s beauty fascinates me and yet scares me stupid.

I also have a sixth sense and remain open minded about ghosts and spirits. I’m not psychic, apart from one or two times when I sensed something was going to happen before it did. I’ve never seen a ghost, but I have been in places that have made my neck hairs bristle and an instinct of a presence.

Once I was driving along a straight country road and for no reason I sensed I should brake. As I did so, a tractor came tearing out of a hidden gate from a field. Had I not braked, I doubt that I would be here today.

This leaves me wondering if there is much more to life than we think or believe.

I’m reluctant to go down the God path, because that too doesn’t convince me. Accepting that some extraordinary power beyond our imagination deserves the credit for nature’s creation, the God factor might only be man’s need to believe in something.

In the infinity of space, universes a trillion light years away must be similar to ours, carrying life as complex as our own. Do they have another God? The same? Or do they not have the need that man does?

It matters not. If we are free to enjoy personal liberty, then we can choose our own God to believe in, or not. What really matters is that in this life, perhaps we should be thinking not of heaven or hell, but how what we do and the way we behave in this life will follow us on our journey to the next.

I’m in awe with the wonders and power of nature. Yet I cower away from scenes of merciless vicious death as animals kill each other, either to eat or for territorial dominance. Understanding that this is now nature works, am I also to accept that nature intended man to be so frigging greedy, hateful and barbaric?

And if so, for those who kick, judge or condemn our fellow man to torture and death, are they immune from facing the same treatment next time around.

That raises a number of further questions. Ones that will take me on a tangent away from this post, asking whether we have all been here before.

Perhaps Karma is real; what goes around comes around. I’m not convinced it always happens in this life, but I know that my conscience tells me that if I do wrong, I’m going to end up paying for it at some point.

Does that mean I’m an old soul who has learnt a lot more than others, or does it mean that I’ve been so bad in past lives that I’m treading on dodgy ground, as if one foot out of place and I’m in for something terrible?

I’m not one for self-torture or punishment, but like most other people, I am somewhat self-controlling. I can scare myself silly with my imagination and how I might interpret my senses. But I’m also a free spirit, always had a mind of my own and my interpretation of life.

When I was a child, for me every single thing had a soul and feelings, from plants and tiny creatures to a stone, pencil and the clothes I wore. I harmed nothing and took an interest in many things that others found utterly boring.

And here’s another thought; If we have all been here before, where have all the extra’s come from?

Now over 7 billion people here on earth, many more than a hundred years ago. Are they reborn souls coming from other dimensions? Could this planet and this life be a staging ground for the horrors some have to endure on their journey through time?

Things are happening in the world today that make no sense. As distant as I am from such evil, somewhere deep within my soul lays an inkling of guilt and sometimes, it creeps out and nudges me into meaningful thought. Then it dashes back before I can grasp it with my two hands and give it a damn good shaking.

Is it something from a past life trying to tell me something?

Am I slowly going crazy?

Or am I getting closer to my very own Déjà vu moment? 


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