I’ve been told by many that on the day I was born, I was issued a first class ticket to hell.
Wow, first class. Is that all it’s made out to be? Rare that I can ever afford first class and on the few occasions I have, it’s been rather disappointing and pretentious. Certainly not worth the extra money or the perceived status of self-importance.
Many tell me I was born to go straight to hell as if it the devil wrote the ticket himself. Somehow that hints of a scam because those that say it also claim that only God can write the tickets, not the devil.
But let’s not get heavy about God or the devil. Both will conjure up emotions and strong feelings and this is not my intent. Blimey, life is stressful enough without upsetting the masses over me and the way I was made.
It got me thinking though, from a recent article written by a vicar in my local paper, about loving Jesus and only being accepted into the Kingdom of Heaven if one submits to following God and Christian values.
The concept is not lost on me, but the logic and rational is.
I can only speak for myself even though I know there are many like me. I’m always mesmerised by the claim that only the select few will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. I wonder if they already have their ticket written, just waiting for when their plane or train departs.
I’m not biting at the bit to go there, therefore writing this is a bit academic. But when there’s a principle involved, it needs airing.
I’m of the mind that heaven doesn’t exist (unless we’re talking earthly paradise), but depending on what a scumbag we’ve in this life, harmony in the next might not be as we wish for.
But if I am mistaken, I still can’t work out why those of us who are courteous, friendly and kind to others should be excluded from heaven because we didn’t join the club. Much like the scam I mentioned before, I think someone’s pulling a fast one.
However, I do have a confession. I get pleasure from hearing church bells ring in the distance, when a choirboy sings solo and from seeing the joy on people’s faces when they share their belief and faith.
I also love the smell of Costa coffee, but hate the taste of it!
Mind you, me and my pre-booked trip to hell might be related to something darker, scenarios that myths are made of.
Cutting to the chase, God or nature made me different. Whoever is responsible also made many thousands the same as me, ordinary, unique, male and attracted to my own gender.
Maybe me being ordinary is a red herring. Maybe there is nothing ordinary about me. But equally, I have to be unique because there’s only one of me. Crikey, I’m a walking contradiction in many ways, with crazy fantasies, a love of English tea, Malaysian coffee and the sun on my face.
On a mundane note, I have bills to pay and I donate to the specific charities. I work like a Trojan and I write stuff that irks people. I watch TV, enjoy music and worry about the state of the nation and the world and I spend too much time people watching.
And yes. I’m biologically wired the same as other blokes. So first or second class, it should not be Man who decides my status or journey, in this life or into the next.
Give me a magic wand and 24 hours and I’d change all the real wrongs of this world into right. Strangely, I’d leave religion alone, for that has to be a personal choice, as long as it harms no one else.
So that’s the exception, because it often does. I’d wave my wand over the bits of religion that discriminates against God, or nature, for making the decision to create something different.
But hey, I’ve just realised. I won’t need 24 hours because once I do that, many wrongs will suddenly become right. I’d only need time to sort out those who rape, pillage, abuse and murder, the fanatics of this world and those who don’t have the brain power to comprehend reality.
One wave of this magic wand and they would all either evaporate into thin air, or become kind and honest people. On the other hand, my wand could write them all a ticket to hell, second class with immediate departure.
Power of course corrupts, so that would make me no better than those who tell me about my first class ticket. So given a few minutes with this magic wand, I think I’d be changing mindsets rather than writing tickets. Although, thinking about it, I reckon everyone should be able to travel first class, just to see what a mess first class travellers leave behind.
Doing any of that won’t get me into the Kingdom of God. Following my own values and caring about my fellow man means nothing because I follow the power and wonder of nature, not God.
Am I bovvered? Frankly no. I feel no fear, conscience or guilt because I instinctively know that the way I was made comes from something pre-birth.
Maybe I’m a fraud, getting first class treatment on my way to hell. I don’t deserve it because I’m no great shakes, haven’t changed the world or had any dealings with the devil. Second class is fine with me, then I can travel with ordinary folk.
I’m not likely to be handed that wand either, so I’m as ordinary as you, trying to do my best to get by, enjoy life and lend a helping hand here and there.
As scams go, I’m wondering if the Kingdom of God is like hell fire and brimstone. Both worthy of being shit scared of even with a First Class ticket.
Unless of course, you know a scam when you see one.
Did you get the message? It wasn’t about God!